


This is Heaven

by emda



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: M/M, oldfic, repost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 07:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9225674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emda/pseuds/emda
Summary: Everything around you is simply mess up still the sight is beautiful to your eyes. Your lover's life is fading… still can you call this heaven?





	

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Character Death
> 
> This a repost from a old fic (posted in LJ 2007/12/15). Expect super amateur writing.

You walk beside his bed. Still early in the morning as expected he was asleep. Since he was so sick and hooks up to those machines you were force to sleep alone. He was paler than before, skinnier every time you look at him. Yet the sight was beautiful that you couldn't stop you tears for flowing down. It hurts, God knows it hurt seen the person you love the most motionless attached to machine because your still self-centered. You weren’t ready to let him go to the darkness when you couldn’t reach for him. Where the warm of his smile fade completely away, be it ignore by the restless souls , that were there. 

You try so hard to amend your broken sky that was him. You try to heat up the sun that was long lost in coldness; you try to warm it up for him. It was unbearable that he was chain to those machines because of your selfishness. Still you remember how you make him get in on the car. Remember the argument that you couldn’t afford to lose and now you pray that you have swallowed your fucking pride. Your anger blinds you and there is were you crash your life, heartless, to a wall. Nearly killing your lover, sentence him to a life of nothingness. Making your other hyungs miserable on the way.

 

You sit beside your lover's bed caressing tenderly the bangs that were bothering you from the beautiful yet sad sight of your lover's sleep face. You scan his face, neck and chest. You pull up the sheets to assure Yoochun's warm. Still as fragile he seems you could still see that he wanted to live, to come back to your embrace. How much he told you to control the anger you though silently being all vigilant of any tiny movement your lover could do… if there where a sign of his wellness. You wrap you hand with his cold completely white hand. You reach his hand to your lips and place a sorry kiss at the back of his hand. Yes you were desperate for him to wake that you could barely sleep, You started to do your work at home… if what you were doing its call work. You only wanted was for him to open his eyes, to ease the pain in your heart as always. You wanted him to scold you, to shout at you. You were up if he wanted to break up with you, but not lose him completely. You wanted to be sure that he was in the earth in the same planet as you.

 

Days have passes, weeks have passes and the doctors never told you what you wanted to hear. He was fading away from you grip. He could still keep on living artificially with the help of the machines but the only thing the doctors were certain… he will never wake up. It was having the reminiscence of your lover or just let him be free. Will you let him go? Could you break completely the heaven both of your created? Or will you mingle in the past? Will you have this sad, pathetic, cynical picture of him? Could you breathe the air without his scent? Would you once again sleep alone? Will someone erase the memories of him? Could someone stab your heart?

 

Finally you decide to let him go. To shut down all the sad memories and only keep the happy ones. You bid you last goodbye to the love of your life. You gave a simple nod and all the machines where off. You saw how slowly his chest was going up and down… up and down… up…down…up…down…silences.

The funeral was beautifully unreal. You saw everything blurry… and you knew you wouldn’t remember anything of it… sadly. The people that love him were there bidding you their condolences. You didn’t shade any tear. Your eyes where steady, dry, lost. All the closest one throws a simple white rose as his coffin slide down. Your eyes never left that sight… the last time you could be near him… the last time your heart will beat.

 

From afar was this blur white figure standing beside the nearest tree. How sad it was for him leaving you alone. But sadly it was his time to leave this place. At least he had the chance to love you. You turn your head to your left and saw a tree… you smile. A sad smile… the last one for sure you thought.

 

Five year has pass since his dead. Yes you couldn’t find another person to love but as everyone expected you didn’t submerge your self in work either drinks or self-pity. You found your way to breathe once again not without him. You just learn the true meaning of love someone. The meaning of love being free. The meaning of the true heaven. That was him… your heaven and it couldn’t be more mess up cause you didn’t wanted that way. This way, this heaven was the right for you and no one else.


End file.
